A Curious Thread
On noticing that being better usually starts with focusing on others
I don’t know much, but there’s a curious thread I’ve noticed in my life and work.
Want to be better at public speaking?
Stop worrying about how you’ll do and focus on what your audience needs to hear.
Want to get better at marketing?
Stop thinking about what you’re selling and focus on how the thing helps people.
Want to be a better leader?
Stop protecting your status and focus on being the leader your team needs.
Want to network better?
Stop looking for what people can do for you and focus on what you can do for others.
Want to be better at sales?
Stop trying to close the deal and focus on what the person across from you really needs.
Want to be a better coworker?
Stop just getting by and focus on who’s depending on you.
Want to have better conversations?
Stop thinking so much about what to say and focus on what the other person is trying to say (and ask lots of questions).
Want to be more creative?
Stop worrying about approval and focus on sharing the thing inside you that others need to experience.
Want to be happier and less depressed?
The science says to stop trying to make yourself happy and focus on how you show up for others.
Want to be more disciplined?
Stop relying on motivation and focus on who’s counting on you.
Want to be less anxious?
Stop imagining the worst-case scenario and focus on the people you have in your life right now.
Want to be more generous?
Stop worrying if you have enough and focus on how what you have can help someone else.
Want to be a kinder human?
Stop worrying so much about what people think and focus on what the people around you need.
Want to grow spiritually?
Stop centering your life on yourself and focus on giving of yourself to others.
Want to be a better parent?
Stop trying to be perfect and focus on what your kid needs in this moment.
Want to have a better marriage?
Stop keeping score and focus on what your spouse actually needs from you today.
At least for me, the thread always leads back to the same place: pulling my attention away from myself and focusing on others.
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.
Philippians 2:3-4