Enough is Enough
On being too much, not enough, and never quite feeling just right
Enough is enough is a funny phrase. We say it when we don’t want to hear anymore out of someone. Maybe they’re complaining. Or maybe they’re pushing something too far. Or maybe we’re just tired.
“Enough.” We say.
And if that doesn’t work:
“That’s Enough.”
Until we finally really mean it:
“Enough is enough!”
There’s a certain finality to it. There’s some line. Said line has been crossed, or about to be. But when do you decide that you’ve had enough? How do you decide when it’s been enough? When do you know that enough really is enough?
I find the Merriam-Webster entry for “enough is enough” rather amusing:
enough is enough → used to say that one wants something to stop because one can no longer accept or deal with it
In other words:
One wants you to stop.
One can no longer deal with this.
One is me!
Usually when we say to someone that enough is enough, we think we’re talking about them. Funny enough, I don’t think we’re talking about the other person at all.
When I say I’ve had enough, I’m actually saying something about myself. I’ve reached the end of my patience. Or I’ve run out of energy. Whatever capacity I had available before has now been exhausted. One has had enough. I have had enough.
Sometimes I think of life like a twisted version of Goldilocks and the Three Bears. In some areas of my life, I don’t feel like I’m enough. I don’t feel like I measure up. But in others, I feel like I’m too much, like I overwhelm people.
Strangely enough, I always feel too hot or too cold, too big or too small. I never quite feel like I’m just right. Am I too much? Am I too little? Am I enough?
Am I doing enough as a father? Or am I trying to do too much?
Am I doing enough as a husband? Or am I trying to do too much?
Am I doing enough at work? Enough for the team? For the people who count on me?
Am I a good enough person?
A good enough friend?
A good enough Christian?
Am I good?
Am I enough?
Or am I too much?
Enough is a strange standard.
An invisible bar we measure ourselves against.
Something we stretch ourselves toward, or shrink ourselves into.
One knows obsessing over these things is enough to drive one crazy.
But one has never been good at leaving well enough alone.