One First Day and Two Growing Boys

The strange work of parenting is learning to let go

“I got him.” Our ten-year-old said to my wife.

Megan was guiding our younger son to the school bus for his first day of kindergarten. But big brother had different plans. He gently placed his hand on his little brother’s back between his shoulders. Just like his dad has done a million times for him when guiding him through a crowded space or dangerous parking lot.

Big brother is typically the first one on the bus. He likes to rush to the front of the line. But today there’s something more important. He finds himself at the back, last one to board the bus at his stop. If he minds, he doesn’t show it. He helps little brother navigate the steps up onto the bus, the first steps toward his first day of school.

I watch as they both get on. I see big brother say something to his little brother, and little brother’s head disappears as he takes one of the seats up front with the other younger kids.

Big brother walks toward the back of the bus to hold court with his friends. I wonder for a moment if that’s the real reason for big bro’s altruism…ensuring that his annoying little brother doesn’t infiltrate his sacred friend time.

But I see the fifth grader look behind him as he’s walking to the back of the bus. He’s checking on the kindergartener. He sees him talking with a brand-new set of potential friends. Big brother goes and takes his seat.

The bus driver barks for the other kids to sit. They had started shuffling around when someone new joined their ranks. Satisfied, the driver closes the door, and the big yellow bus heads up the road toward my little guys’ futures.

Little brother is a a bit young for kindergarten. Megan and I have gone back and forth on whether we should wait a year to start the freshly five-year-old in elementary school. We know intellectually he’s ready. We’ll see, in time, if he’s mature enough. We say a little prayer for his teacher.

Later on, little brother told us his favorite part of the day was not having to wear his seat belt on the bus. He beams with his trademark mischievous grin. This somehow perfectly encapsulates our son, and seems downright poetic when I think about it. We’ve let our little boy go on his next big adventure.

We feel like little brother is ready. His parents wonder if they are. Mom seems to struggle a bit to let go of little brother’s hand, dad is nervous to take his guiding hand off the little boy’s shoulders. But at least for this one year when both boys are together at the same school, we know big brother’s got him.