“My goal is to ask 50 questions if I can in a conversation.”
I laughed out loud. I thought the guy was joking.
He wasn’t.
I was talking to Doug Franklin, a student leadership expert. He was serving as our main church camp speaker that year. He used a flurry of questions to get young people comfortable enough to open up. His goal was to learn what mattered to each kid.
I thought it seemed excessive. But I tried it anyway. I started asking as many questions as I could throughout the week. I asked follow-up questions based on their answers. Crazy enough, they kept talking. It was remarkable how quickly those students began sharing what actually mattered to them.
Turns out this works really well with adults, too.
People love to talk about themselves.
Even more, they love talking about the things they care about.
Sometimes people are just waiting for permission to share.
Good questions can help people feel safe enough to open up.
I’ve become obsessed with asking good questions.
If you’ve been around me much, you’ve probably thought, “dude, chill.”
But I truly love chasing down what I find interesting in people.
I experienced the other side of this last week. A coworker started asking a few questions about my story. He asked follow-up questions and showed interest in how I’ve gotten to where I am. Before I knew it, I was sharing about some of the deeper things I’ve experienced and how they’ve shaped what matters to me.
My friend gave me permission to share by first showing he cared.