Saying Sorry to My Sons
Why I'd rather say sorry than pretend I've got this parenting figured out
Apologizing to your kids is a funny thing. I mean, we know we’re going to mess up from time to time. We’re very aware, most of us at least, that we’re not perfect. Far from it. This whole parenting thing is hard, and I’ve yet to find any of us who really feel like we know what we’re doing. So, it’s no wonder I have as many opportunities to tell my kids I’m sorry as I do.
I haven’t had enough patience with my boys lately. And maybe not enough patience with myself, either. I’ve been quick to become frustrated and just as quick to express it. The ten year old is learning to anticipate when it comes. “Sorry. Sorry.” He’ll say when he knows I’m getting wound a little too tight.
It’s hard when you want to be a “good parent,” whatever that really means. Because you want to be your kids’ rock. You want them to count on you. At least I do. I think most of us do. Give me all the Danny Tanner dad moments with my guys.
We think we’re supposed to have all the answers, and be the perfect role model, and always do and say what’s best for our kids. But sometimes life gets in the way. Or our ego. Either way, there are things we say and do that don’t quite line up with who we want to be as parents, with who we know our children need us to be.
So, we have a choice. We either own up to it, apologize, and try to get a little better every day. Or we can put our foot down, pretend that we do no wrong, and hope the kid figures it out.
If I’m going to err with my boys, I’m going to err on the side of showing them that their dad loves them. And, even though he’s far from perfect, he’s always trying to grow, and be a bit better, and be the best dad he can be for them.
If that means apologizing every now and then, I suppose that’s exactly what I’ll do.