Scooting Over
Making every table I'm at the kid's table
Alan punched my left arm hard before scurrying away from the cafeteria table. “I am not your friend!” he grumbled as he picked up his lunch tray. This 2nd grade memory is seared into my brain all these years later.
It was just weeks into the school year. I was the new kid. I didn’t know anyone, so at lunch or recess I gravitated toward the random kid assigned to sit next to me in class. The only thing we had in common was that the first letters of our last names were kind of close together.
Apparently, my desk neighbor didn’t find this a sufficient foundation for elementary school friendship.
This wouldn’t be the only time I was left wondering if there was a place for me at a table I wanted to be at. I have a library full of memories dedicated to this particular plight. Both of the physical and metaphorical variety, from childhood and, well, all the way through yesterday.
The need to fit in, to belong, is programmed deep within us all. It may manifest in different ways depending on the individual, but it’s a universal part of our wiring. We were created or evolved or both (depending on your worldview) to be part of the tribe.
Some of us spend our whole lives worrying about the table we’re sitting at. Even if we have somewhere we do belong, we are forever focused on the next table that seems a bit more important or a bit more interesting.
Like the child chomping at the bit to graduate from the kid’s table to go sit with the adults. Sometimes we get so focused on where we’re not that we somehow forget to appreciate where we are…or rather who we’re with.
I was looking at Matthew 18 a few weeks ago. The disciples asked Jesus: “Who, then, is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?” They wanted to know if they had a seat at his table. But not just any seat. They wanted to know how important their seat would be. Jesus’ answer is profound.
2 He called a little child to him, and placed the child among them. 3 And he said: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. 4 Therefore, whoever takes the lowly position of this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.
Matthew 18:2-4
As I read through this passage (during church…sorry to whoever was preaching that Sunday 😬), the thought hit me. “I want to make every table I’m at the kid’s table.”
Jesus brought a child into the mix. He told his disciples that being important starts and ends with becoming like a kid. To be great means taking a lowly position. It means choosing to put others above yourself.
Making my table the kid’s table means I have to stop searching for a “more important” table. When I am with people, I take the lower position. I put the interests of others above my own, as Paul talks about in Philippians. When you’re at the kid’s table, you lead with curiosity, wonder and a bit of whimsy.
My wife loves the phrase, “be where your feet are.” I think this is wonderful advice. My version would be: “be present at the table you’re sitting at.”
Most of all, I always want to scoot over and make room when someone else is looking for their seat. Wherever I sit, everyone is welcome. Because, at the kid’s table, just sitting close by is more than enough of a foundation for friendship. Always has been.