Trying My Best

Parenting isn’t for the faint of heart

I’m going to screw up my boys. I probably already have. We all will, I suppose. It’s not so much whether or not we mess up as parents…it’s more about the particular type of damage we’ll inadvertently inflict and how deep we let the scars dig.

I really want to be a good dad.

The problem is that being a good parent is much harder than Danny Tanner made it look.

Kids can be stubborn. We adults can be, too. There’s also ungratefulness, broken trust, silent resentment, and down right rebellion. And like the old Sour Patch Kids commercials, you’re never quite sure which version of your kiddo you’re going to get from day to day.

Despite my best efforts, today wasn’t a banner day of parenting. I walked back something I said to my 10 year old in frustration. I even said I was sorry. I said many other things while being stirred up. Those things I stand by. He was, as a matter of fact, being a jerk. 😂

Sometimes it’s hard to stick to principles your kiddos don’t understand. They can’t fully comprehend that you’re trying to protect them, you’re trying to help them…that at a fundamental level you only want what’s best for them. They can’t see the young man you see in them. They can’t see the version of themselves that they are becoming like you can. They only see a few feet in front of them (mostly because that’s where the iPad comes into view).

I was tempted to give in on a parenting conviction today to keep the peace with my son. In the end, though, I know I have that conviction for his sake, their sake. That even if he doesn’t understand the why after explaining it to him, I still have to choose what I know to be right for my son.

On the flip side, I chose to swallow my pride a little bit and went to talk to him before he went to sleep. “Do you still want to do our puzzles?” We do the NYT app every night together. We love Wordle and like to gripe about Connections. Without really any words, he gathered his stuff and nestled in close to give his input on today’s puzzles.

And maybe that’s all any of us parents can do.

Hold onto our principles and convictions for the good of our kids…

But willingly let go of our pride and extend an olive branch every now and then.

Maybe it’s not so much about proving you are a good parent.

Maybe the most important thing is simply that you’re trying your best to be a bit better every day.

Here’s hoping.