We learn through stories.
I communicate for a living, so I already know this. But after reading more books this year than I ever have, I’m finally internalizing it.
I’ve added fiction to my reading in the past 6 months. My favorites are the ones that actively try to ruin your emotional stability, but in a heartwarming way. Books like Fredrik Backman’s A Man Called Ove or The Storied Life of A.J. Fikry. Patchett’s latest, Whistler, is my current emotional support novel.
Like many guys, I’m still reading plenty of nonfiction. And I’m grateful for the tips and principles I’ve pulled from those books this year. But fiction hits differently.
I’m able to feel the point while reading a novel without always being explicitly told the point. It causes me to reflect about the deeper principle before realizing how it might apply to me. That can make it easier to recognize something profound in my own life and leadership.
Haig’s The Midnight Library was the first fiction book I’d read in years. It hooked me. But it also showed me that the best version of my life is the one I’m living. It made me, even just by a little, choose to be more present rather than living in the past or stuck in the future.
The Unlikely Pilgrimage of Harold Fry stirred up a persistence to show up for those who have shown up for me. Theo of Golden inspired me to take a moment longer to recognize the inherent beauty and dignity in every human I come in contact with. The Correspondent made me want to write letters. It also made me cry. And it made me hug my boys a little tighter.
Actually, several of the books have challenged me to show up better for my little guys. Buckeye, My Friends, Britt Marie was Here, and Harold Fry all shone a different light on fatherhood that affected me in different ways.
Other books like The Authenticity Project, The Music Shop, and even When Lemons Give You Life challenged me to grow in some meaningful way in my life and leadership. I feel like I’ve shown up better as a husband, father, friend, and co-worker because of the gifts I’ve received from these books. Even my most beneficial nonfiction reads over the last several months have been books like Patrick Lencioni’s leadership fables.
Maybe it’s just me, but I sometimes try to move too quickly into application. I want to take a practical idea and apply it immediately. There’s certainly room for that. Books like Traction, The Campfire Method, and The Art of Gathering have certainly been gifts to me professionally.
I’ve taken much from all the books I’ve read. I’ve learned and grown this year in profound ways because of the literature I’ve spent time with. I love my nonfiction books. The practical guides and leadership theories. The memoirs and field guides. But sometimes I need to experience a truth emotionally before I know how to act on it. It’s one thing to know something intellectually. It’s another to be moved to action.
And isn’t action the clearest sign that we’ve actually learned something?
So, yes, we learn through stories.
In all the forms they take.
I love the idea that some truths need to be felt before we know how to apply them. Fiction can make us see our own lives and relationships differently in ways advice books sometimes can’t. Which book has had the biggest impact on how you show up as a father?