Bird by Bird, Buddy.

My three-year-old had a full-on meltdown a few days ago. All because his banana broke in half.

I was already mid-scramble trying to get everyone out the door for the day.

Slinging backpacks over tiny shoulders, stressing over an already overflowing email inbox, staring at an early morning text that kicked me square in the teeth…

All this while now managing a tiny demon child who just became emotionally unglued over fruit.

Chaos.

I stopped, took a deep breath, and whispered to myself: “Bird by Bird, buddy. Bird by Bird.”

Coach Beard: I hate losing. Coach Lasso: “Bird by bird, Coach.”

This quick throwaway line from my beloved Ted Lasso has changed me. It’s been a seismic shift in how I approach each day. I had no clue what it meant the first time I watched. So, I did the only reasonable thing a millennial knows how to do.

I googled it.

I learned that “Bird by Bird” comes from Anne Lamott’s book of the same name. She tells a story about her brother who was overwhelmed by a school project on birds. She uses this memory to illustrate how big tasks are best handled one small piece at a time.

“Thirty years ago my older brother, who was ten years old at the time, was trying to get a report on birds written that he’d had three months to write, which was due the next day. We were out at our family cabin in Bolinas, and he was at the kitchen table close to tears, surrounded by binder paper and pencils and unopened books on birds, immobilized by the hugeness of the task ahead. Then my father sat down beside him, put his arm around my brother’s shoulder, and said, ‘Bird by bird, buddy. Just take it bird by bird.’”

— Anne Lamott, Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life (pp. 17–18)

Megan and I have related to Lamott’s brother more often than we’d like to admit this past year.

Work stress, family issues, endless to-do lists, strained relationships, and, frankly, a never-ending pile of laundry.

It all left us feeling “immobilized by the hugeness of the task ahead.”

I can’t tell you how many times Megan has chuckled sarcastically, looked at me, and asked, “What are we going to do?”

My answer is always the same: “Just take it bird by bird.”

Megan’s over it. Like eye-roll, deep sigh, walks away mid-sentence over it. But it’s still my go-to answer.

This mindset of doing the next small thing steadies me, even when the world feels like a slow-burning dumpster fire. It keeps me focused on what’s right in front of me and quiets the worries that often pile up and paralyze me.

One by one. Bit by bit. Bird by bird.

But Bird By Bird has done more than just help me manage my everyday chaos.

It has taught me that I can move forward. That I can make real progress. That I’m capable of accomplishing something meaningful even when the work is big and life feels heavy.

Bird by Bird is about breaking free from feeling like I’m stuck in neutral. It’s about believing that I can move forward even in the middle of the mess. It’s about realizing I may not be able to do everything, but I can do something.

I don’t have to have all the answers. I just need to keep going. Keep moving forward. Day by day. Bird by bird.

So if life feels heavy and you’re not sure where to start, in the spirit of Anne Lamott and Ted Lasso: “Bird by bird, buddy. Just take it bird by bird.”